My first blog post! Yeehaw!
I haven’t been writing much these past few weeks. In fact, I haven’t written at all. I’ve been seriously slacking on my book. It’s partly because I’ve had writer’s block, but the main reason was depression. November 19th was the worst day of my life.
Actually, it all started the day before. It started when I came out of my room and went to find my best friend, Cappie, in her bed. I sat down, patted her head and told her, “I love you.” Then I noticed she went potty on the floor again. I told my parents and they cleaned it up while I sat with Cappie. My stepdad was on the verge of crying, looking down at Cappie and me. He didn’t say anything, but with the look in his eyes, I knew what it meant. We were going to put Cappie down. Surprisingly, I didn’t start crying yet.
Cappie could barely walk on her own anymore. Her hips just weren’t working. She fell on steps and had tumors in her body. She spent just about all her time laying down in her bed. Cappie was starting to go potty on the floor more frequently.
At last, my stepdad said the words I never wanted to hear, but knew I was going to. “I think it’s time to say goodbye to Cappie. I can’t see her suffer anymore.” The tears came pouring out of my eyes. Everything was blurry, I couldn’t see, and I couldn’t talk. My mouth was trembling. My heart was breaking. I knew it was going to happen, but hearing him actually say it, made it all the more real. My mom came over, sat, and hugged me. She gave me a tissue and said, “sweetie, say something.” What was I suppose to say? There was nothing to say. It’s not like I could talk, at the moment, even if I wanted to. My stepdad made the appointment. Cappie was scheduled to be put down the next day, November 19th, at around Four.
I stayed with Cappie all night. I petted her, told her how much I love her, and that she’ll always be my best friend. We even watched Netflix together. Before it was time to go, we got some pictures with Cappie, not that we already have a million of them. On the drive to the vet, I begun to reminisce the past. I met Cappie when my stepdad and mom started dating. She followed me around everywhere, slept beside me every night, and whined when I went to school. Cappie, also, helped me learn to walk. She was not a registered service dog, but was to me. She would be in the bathroom with me, standing next to me, just in case I slipped or fell. When my mom and I pulled into the driveway after I was gone for a week due to surgery, Cappie came jumping in my lap, licking every inch of my face. I haven’t even gotten out of the car yet.
We were at the vet. I began bawling again. My mom grabbed my hand, “I know. I know.” My stepdad and I went in with Cappie. Mom stayed in the car. We were in a small, square room. Again, I petted her, hugged, and kissed her. I told her she’ll always be my best friend. Watching her be put down was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew we were doing it for all the right reasons, but I still felt like we were murdering her. I just hope she understood why we did it. We didn’t want her to be in pain anymore.
Cappie came in my life during a difficult time. She helped me with everything. I love her more than life itself. With her gone, I feel very alone in the family. My parents have each other, my brothers have one another and I had Cappie. She was my best friend. Correction, she is my best friend. She may be gone, but I still feel her here. Now, she’s my guardian angel. Believing that I’ll see her again some day, keeps me going. For now, I’ll just wear my best friend necklace and live on in her memory. Thankfully, my cat, Lucky, has been spending a lot more time with me. She’s making it better. And of course, I have my writing to help me too!
R.I.P Cappie ♥ August 27th, 1999 – November 19th, 2013
Now, If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to wipe my eyes and get started on my book. After all, I did promise my best friend I’d finish the book by September 2014, and dedicate it to her when it’s published.